Ah man, April has been such a complete write off and I'm so mad at myself! I honestly thought I was completely in my groove and that I had the right focus and motivation to keep going but not the case!
I dont even know what happened! One minute I was focused, in the zone and so ready to be in shape for summer - the next thing you know I'm eating whatever the hell I want along with some stuff that I actually didnt want but I ate anyway - massive bar of Dairy Milk Oreo anyone??!
Sigh, I really didnt want this blog to turn into some yo yo type story where I do well, then do terrible, then do well again - I wanted it as a focus and an accountability tool to keep me going as well as providing inspiration for anyone who happened to be reading but it hasnt really worked like that.
And I wish I could say that yeah I'm totally ready to kill it in May and my motivation is back and I'm raring to go but its just not true! What I can say is that I'm going to try really really really hard to get back on track and I'll take it one step at a time - I cant do much more than that at the moment.
I also wish I could pinpoint what went wrong - to be honest I feel a little bit scared and out of control - it almost feels like self sabotage or some emotional thing rather than just 'taking a break' from working out - I dont even know if I'm explaining myself very well!!
But there we have it. I feel like a fraud even telling you my plans for May so I wont for now - I havent even plucked up the courage to weigh myself yet : (
I feel a million times better when my food and exercise are right so as well as feeling bloated, fat and unenthusiastic I also just feel run down and tired!
But you know what, enough moaning - the only person who can change it is me so thats what I'm going to try and do. I think posting weekly weight updates really helped to so lets get back to that.
Have a great bank holiday weekend and as always - any advice is really appreciated!
Lisa xx
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